Last Sunday of May 2016. I'm sharing my haiku process for today, i welcome your critique
sunrise established
a sliver of moon still wanting
to compete
sunrise secure
a sliver of moon still wanting
to compete
sunrise secure
a sliver of moon still waiting
to compete
sunrise secure
a sliver of moon waiting
to compete
sunrise secure
a sliver of moon lurking
In competition
And here's today's haiku; what do you think
a sunrise secure -
this sliver of moon lurking
in competition
© gillena cox 2016
Revisit
Sunday Lime 1
Sunday Savvy #86
day moon 2013
Sunday Smiles
Blog hopping today at
Poetry Pantry 304
39 comments:
Enjoyed reading your process notes as well as your finished product.
You have really captured that moon well, Gillena!
Loved the fact that you shared your process notes with us :D it really helps to observe how one reaches their final product. Loved your haiku! Pure perfection. Happy Sunday Gillena :D
Lots of love,
Sanaa
I too like the sharing of the process and you certainly get there Gillena
Fascinating ti see your process. Thank you. I like where you ended up.
Thanks for your appreciation Sanaa
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Thanks for dropping in Scott
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Happy you dropped in Rosemary
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I love the process you have shown along with this piece like the different stages of the sky..sunlight nudging moon..moon nudging sun :)
I love your thought process and the evolution...culminating in a wonderful haiku with a word changed, added or left out...each little change nudges it to perfection!
Wonderful way to evolve to the final version... the thought of a moon lurking is great.
I enjoyed the process, and think your final one is perfect!
I think the final version is the best choice.. amazing how many combinations of words you worked with.
Thank you for your appreciation Jae
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Thanks for your appreciation Donna
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Thanks for your appreciation Bjorn
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Thanks Sherry
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Thanks for your appreciation Sherry
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enjoyed the process the final result is outstanding, Wonderful Sunday to you!
I like your final choice, the idea of the moon lurking in order to best the sun. But I really love the second draft, there is something about the word "wanting"... Maybe is the fact that in my mind, I know the moon can't really beat the sun. Still, that want will keep her going.
Enjoyed seeing your process, Gillena.
Thank you Maneno
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Thank you for your appreciation Magaly
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I prefer the last one, Gillena. Thanks for sharing the process. I think I needed that. Will try to do it sometimes :)
Thanks for your appreciation Totomai
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Thanks for your appreciation Totomai
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I preferred the second one. Now with so many differing opinions what will you do?
Thank you so much Gillena for sharing the process. I have a book of haiky masters on my nightstand. Am trying to learn. I have such respect and admiration for those, like you, who write such beautiful, meaningful haiku. Someday, I'll learn.
Always fascinating to see the creative process at work!! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for relating the process. It helps for later Gillena!
Hank
thanks for sharing the process Gillena...the moon becomes quite a character in the last one..
The moon will always compete in my mind. One of my favorite things!
Each one serves as a motivation for my next haiku
Happy you dtopped in Robin
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Thanks for your appreciation Myrna
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Thanks for dropping in Thorpurge
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Glad you dropped by Hank
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Thank you for your appreciation Sumana
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Happy you dropped by Bekkie
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Happy you dropped by Bekkie
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I too much enjoyed reading about your process--I often think we don't pay enough attention to process
We all come to our process individually, and sharing it is important, as well as educational. We never know when our steps might help someone else fly. I really like your lurking moon,
Elizabeth
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