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Sunday, May 29, 2016

1897



Last Sunday of May 2016. I'm sharing my haiku process for today, i welcome your critique

sunrise established
a sliver of moon still wanting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon still wanting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon still waiting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon waiting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon lurking
In competition

And here's today's haiku; what do you think

a sunrise secure -
this sliver of moon lurking
in competition
© gillena cox 2016

Revisit
Sunday Lime 1
Sunday Savvy #86
day moon 2013


Sunday Smiles


Sundays are always special here at Lunch Break. Today is #86 in the series Sunday Lime How is your Sunday going email me post a COMMENT or leave a link to your blog at the linky below




Blog hopping today at
Poetry Pantry 304
at

39 comments:

  1. Mary9:07 AM

    Enjoyed reading your process notes as well as your finished product.
    You have really captured that moon well, Gillena!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sanaa Rizvi9:40 AM

    Loved the fact that you shared your process notes with us :D it really helps to observe how one reaches their final product. Loved your haiku! Pure perfection. Happy Sunday Gillena :D

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox11:15 AM

      Thanks for your appreciation Sanaa

      Much love...

      Delete
  3. scotthastiepoet9:59 AM

    I too like the sharing of the process and you certainly get there Gillena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox11:15 AM

      Thanks for dropping in Scott

      Much love...

      Delete
  4. Rosemary Nissen-Wade11:00 AM

    Fascinating ti see your process. Thank you. I like where you ended up.

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    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox11:16 AM

      Happy you dropped in Rosemary

      Much love...

      Delete
  5. Jae Rose11:34 AM

    I love the process you have shown along with this piece like the different stages of the sky..sunlight nudging moon..moon nudging sun :)

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    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox12:58 PM

      Thank you for your appreciation Jae

      Much love...

      Delete
  6. Donna@LivingFromHappiness12:04 PM

    I love your thought process and the evolution...culminating in a wonderful haiku with a word changed, added or left out...each little change nudges it to perfection!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox12:59 PM

      Thanks for your appreciation Donna

      Much love...

      Delete
  7. brudberg12:10 PM

    Wonderful way to evolve to the final version... the thought of a moon lurking is great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox12:59 PM

      Thanks for your appreciation Bjorn

      Much love...

      Delete
  8. Sherry Blue Sky12:13 PM

    I enjoyed the process, and think your final one is perfect!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Kerry O'Connor12:56 PM

    I think the final version is the best choice.. amazing how many combinations of words you worked with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox1:00 PM

      Thanks for your appreciation Sherry

      Much love...

      Delete
  10. ScottlB3:48 PM

    enjoyed the process the final result is outstanding, Wonderful Sunday to you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Magaly Guerrero4:20 PM

    I like your final choice, the idea of the moon lurking in order to best the sun. But I really love the second draft, there is something about the word "wanting"... Maybe is the fact that in my mind, I know the moon can't really beat the sun. Still, that want will keep her going.

    Enjoyed seeing your process, Gillena.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Gillena Cox4:30 PM

    Thank you Maneno

    much love...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Gillena Cox4:30 PM

    Thank you for your appreciation Magaly

    much love...

    ReplyDelete
  14. totomai6:12 PM

    I prefer the last one, Gillena. Thanks for sharing the process. I think I needed that. Will try to do it sometimes :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox6:47 PM

      Thanks for your appreciation Totomai

      Much love...

      Delete
    2. Gillena Cox6:48 PM

      Thanks for your appreciation Totomai

      Much love...

      Delete
  15. Old Egg6:59 PM

    I preferred the second one. Now with so many differing opinions what will you do?

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    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox12:55 PM

      Each one serves as a motivation for my next haiku

      Happy you dtopped in Robin

      Much love...

      Delete
  16. Myrna R.9:23 PM

    Thank you so much Gillena for sharing the process. I have a book of haiky masters on my nightstand. Am trying to learn. I have such respect and admiration for those, like you, who write such beautiful, meaningful haiku. Someday, I'll learn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox12:56 PM

      Thanks for your appreciation Myrna

      Much love...

      Delete
  17. Anonymous9:26 PM

    Always fascinating to see the creative process at work!! Thanks for sharing.

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    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox12:57 PM

      Thanks for dropping in Thorpurge

      Much love...

      Delete
  18. kaykuala9:26 PM

    Thanks for relating the process. It helps for later Gillena!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox12:58 PM

      Glad you dropped by Hank

      Much love...

      Delete
  19. Sumana Roy11:41 PM

    thanks for sharing the process Gillena...the moon becomes quite a character in the last one..

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    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox12:59 PM

      Thank you for your appreciation Sumana

      Much love...

      Delete
  20. Bekkie Sanchez12:44 PM

    The moon will always compete in my mind. One of my favorite things!

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    Replies
    1. Gillena Cox12:59 PM

      Happy you dropped by Bekkie

      Much love...

      Delete
    2. Gillena Cox1:00 PM

      Happy you dropped by Bekkie

      Much love...

      Delete
  21. Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger3:09 PM

    I too much enjoyed reading about your process--I often think we don't pay enough attention to process

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  22. Anonymous6:11 PM

    We all come to our process individually, and sharing it is important, as well as educational. We never know when our steps might help someone else fly. I really like your lurking moon,

    Elizabeth

    ReplyDelete