Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day Musings 2009

before i make my introductions, i'm going to spill the beans a little. I grew up in Chaguanas with both my parents, siblings, and my paternal grandmother; i have been living in St James since 1972.
About my mother, well, she was always hitting me - with a belt, a cup, a pot spoon, wet clothes while she was washing, you name it, she'd use it to hit on me.
"Mum that wasn't very nice"
Needless to say i opted not to discipline my children in that fashion.
Okay, so moving along. I'm not one of those people who idealize Mum. Growing up, what i liked about my mum was her cooking. Now don't get me wrong people, i never disrespected or ill treated my mother; thats the truth.

My favourite people are my children and my husband; now thats not to say therein only sweetness and no bitterness are, but read on people.

Let me introduce you
Meet my Mom her name is Mary; and my Children -: daughter Yanda and son Khama.

My father is deceased, 1999; his name - Job.
My husband Anthony, reneged on his responsibility to me and the children when in 1978 he left us to go to New York-USA to study, never returning to our home.

So that makes me what? a deserted woman since we were never divorced; or maybe, a woman who rose to meet her challanges with faith? -------------------

Well, i'll let you fill in the blanks.

As a child i always prayed that i would be financially independent, I sometimes use that as a yardstick when i affirm "Yes God answers prayers."

Well being a married mum, with an absentee husband was very challenging, but i love being a mom to my kids, who were the perfect kids - naughty and nice; until they left home and mutated into two people i'm striving each day to know better.

dinner plate auralia your leaves
the same and yet different


revisit Mother's Day 2008

Do leave a comment, Tell me something about you, your Mom, your kids, someone you think is an outstanding Mom;
if you e-mail me your mother's day musings, be it bitter or sweet i'll edit this post and add it. MUCH LOVE

A tribute to my mother: She was not faultless, tended to be negative toward life on Earth, was very judgmental as to our depaortment, and complained about my father too much. BUT, that is a big word which covered whatever faults there were. She loved us, was always there for us (there was a void when she wasn't home when we got home from school), taught us right from wrong, read the Bible with us and always had her private daily devotions (I recall her praying for us--she often prayed out loud), laughed and cried with us, saw that we were regularly in church, set an example of piety before us. That is a rich heritage I shall always remember. She has been gone some twenty years but her legacy remains strong. I thank God for my godly mother.
--Quentin Clingerman; US

As far as Mother's Day went... My focus this year was more on what kind of a mother I have been to my two grown daughters. There are lots of contentedly good memories mixed in with regret for mistakes I have made. If I could have children now at age 49 rather than at age 19 as I had done...I would do things a whole lot different! Ah! the wisdom of age. But, gratefully I have close, honest, loving relationships with each of them. When I find myself criticizing my mother and aspects of my childhood I remember her undying love and the fact that she was young once too.
with the thorns
mother's day
--Robin Beshers; US

just my love and me
strolling down a country road
wildflowers in bloom
--Nan Forehand; US

mother's day -
some black locust petals
on her grave
--Tomislav Maretic; Croatia

My mother; she is the one with whom I open my heart fully without fear of being misunderstood...
--Devika; and others have posted their musings directly to COMMENTS


Devika said...

Hi Gillena,

First, A Very Happy and Blessed Mothers Day :)

it is so nice to know of you, the way you show your love..i have seen it through and through...and that makes you a complete woman for me :)

My mother -- she is the one with whom I open my heart fully without fear of being misunderstood (my husband is a fine one though...but he's little impatient)....and hence she is the most outstanding mom to our place moms of my mother's generation are mostly very conservative!

mother was never strict except she would scold us when we were loud..and I am still loud when things get to my nerves :)

my disciplining....if at all i show something of that the influence of sisters(nuns) during schooling.

and my father -- an advocate turned political activist..would be avaiable only to take important decisions for us four education and marriage --

most of the days he was away and if he was home -- he would be busy writing/reading...(I lost him in November 2003)

and mom had to manage every aspect of home-making all on her own...she was working too,
getting up at 3.30am and like a machine until 11.30pm...i used to join her since I was seven/eight years old...

we are three sisters -- I am the third and have an younger brother...Now mother stays alone, sisters are very close by...I am in Delhi about 3500kms from my home in Kerala...

here - only me and my husband in the family..I have no children :)

that makes me...have not heard someone calling me mother and could be one reason I am kind of playful still! (depends on my mood though :))

I have said it all here, You may edit what you feel like Gillena :)

On that haiga..traditionally we serve food in banana leaves...reminded me of that...nice haiga :)


Masago said...

Blessings to you. You have a cool family! P.S. I wonder if naughtiness has anything to do with how much one gets disciplined by mummy(?)... :-)

Ella Wagemakers said...

Hi Gillena,

I never had a mother and grew up only with benefactors. Sometimes, though, when I observe or study myself, I think I can discern parts of me that came from her. (These parts could also have come from my father, of course, but, not having known either of them, I will never be able to tell.)

According to psychiatric studies, mothers somehow manage to pass on not just their genes, but even some elements of the environment they grew up in to their unborn offspring, who are then later free to express any interest, if any, in these elements - religious tendencies, cultural tendencies, artistic inclinations, mannerisms, tastes, and so on. If that is true, then maybe I can say that I can make a pretty good guess as to what kind of a woman my mother was. People will probably say it's all speculation, and of course it is, but I think there'll be more than one grain of truth in my musings.

I wish her, whoever she is, Happy Mother's Day.

May sunshine
on her flowered skirt
my mother

Z;>) Ella

Magyar said...

_Being a man, how could I ever understand what it is... to be a mother? Often the awkwardness, of trying to understand, becomes an innocous, inachievable attempt, yet for that which I think Iunderstand, they do indeed have my utmost respect!
_My mother passed in 1985, and it takes far less than Mother's Day to remember her; not a day passes that, in some way, a loving thought doesn't occur. Alyce, I miss you_!
_We have two children that knew their grandmother, and grand children that I wish could have known her... and that she, could have known them.
_I think, in her glances this way, Alyce does know them, and wears a smile of approval... .
_Happy Mother's Day Ma, and to all of those Moms that may just happen to read this! _m

bandit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bandit said...

Ella dear,

In this respect, we share some of the same experiences.

The most recent outcome for me was discovering I had a half-sister,
with grown children and three grandchildren of her own. She calls me her big brother! Ha! And I always believed I was an only child.
It was in her search for our mother, disappeared nearly 50 years ago, that we met.
It was tough answering that deliberately vague letter of inquiry from the search agency.
I was reluctant, at first, after "forgetting" the past for so long, yet I had to know its origin.

faded photographs
on this mother's day
the past more clear

polona said...

i don't really know what to say, gillena. your story has touched me and although mine is quite different it involves a dysfunctional family and abuse... not on mother's side, i must add

RBroeker said...

I am touched. And again I find myself in a very comfortable life.

Some people would have given up in your situation, Gillena, but you fought and still fight. And you write in a great way, making many people happy. This is wonderful.

Best wishes

Gillena Cox said...

Devika thanks for your sharing; there is also the serving of food on soharee and also banana leaves here in T&T especially at Hindu weddings.
Ella thanks for sharing; your are blessed to have had a mother you neer knew and a benefactor who mothered you
Polona thanks for sharing; we must heal or else we die
Vaughn thanks for sharing; i think more so naughtiness is the character of all children
Magyar thanks for sharing;your sensitiity is just beautiful
Haiku bandit thanks for sharing; best regard to you and your newly found sister
Ralf Thank you and thanks for sharing
much love

HaikuKelly said...

Does being a momma to two little doggies count?

They have brought more joy into my life than I ever thought possible.

Bill said...

Just got back in town. Here's one from our stay in California

Mother's Day
she takes her kids
to the movies