Sunday, May 29, 2016

1897



Last Sunday of May 2016. I'm sharing my haiku process for today, i welcome your critique

sunrise established
a sliver of moon still wanting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon still wanting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon still waiting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon waiting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon lurking
In competition


And here's today's haiku; what do you think

a sunrise secure -
this sliver of moon lurking
in competition

© gillena cox 2016

Revisit
Sunday Lime 1
Sunday Savvy #86
day moon 2013


Sunday Smiles


Sundays are always special here at Lunch Break. Today is #86 in the series Sunday Lime How is your Sunday going email me post a COMMENT or leave a link to your blog at the linky below




Blog hopping today at
Poetry Pantry 304

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41 Comments:

Blogger Mary said...

Enjoyed reading your process notes as well as your finished product.
You have really captured that moon well, Gillena!

9:07 AM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Mary

much love...

9:10 AM  
Blogger Sanaa Rizvi said...

Loved the fact that you shared your process notes with us :D it really helps to observe how one reaches their final product. Loved your haiku! Pure perfection. Happy Sunday Gillena :D

Lots of love,
Sanaa

9:40 AM  
Blogger scotthastiepoet said...

I too like the sharing of the process and you certainly get there Gillena

9:59 AM  
Blogger Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Fascinating ti see your process. Thank you. I like where you ended up.

11:00 AM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Sanaa

Much love...

11:15 AM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for dropping in Scott

Much love...

11:15 AM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Happy you dropped in Rosemary

Much love...

11:16 AM  
Blogger Jae Rose said...

I love the process you have shown along with this piece like the different stages of the sky..sunlight nudging moon..moon nudging sun :)

11:34 AM  
Anonymous Donna@LivingFromHappiness said...

I love your thought process and the evolution...culminating in a wonderful haiku with a word changed, added or left out...each little change nudges it to perfection!

12:04 PM  
Blogger brudberg said...

Wonderful way to evolve to the final version... the thought of a moon lurking is great.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Sherry Blue Sky said...

I enjoyed the process, and think your final one is perfect!

12:13 PM  
Blogger Kerry O'Connor said...

I think the final version is the best choice.. amazing how many combinations of words you worked with.

12:56 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thank you for your appreciation Jae

Much love...

12:58 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Donna

Much love...

12:59 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Bjorn

Much love...

12:59 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thanks Sherry

Much love...

1:00 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Sherry

Much love...

1:00 PM  
Blogger Maneno Yangu said...

enjoyed the process the final result is outstanding, Wonderful Sunday to you!

3:48 PM  
Blogger Magaly Guerrero said...

I like your final choice, the idea of the moon lurking in order to best the sun. But I really love the second draft, there is something about the word "wanting"... Maybe is the fact that in my mind, I know the moon can't really beat the sun. Still, that want will keep her going.

Enjoyed seeing your process, Gillena.

4:20 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thank you Maneno

much love...

4:30 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thank you for your appreciation Magaly

much love...

4:30 PM  
Blogger totomai said...

I prefer the last one, Gillena. Thanks for sharing the process. I think I needed that. Will try to do it sometimes :)

6:12 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Totomai

Much love...

6:47 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Totomai

Much love...

6:48 PM  
Blogger Old Egg said...

I preferred the second one. Now with so many differing opinions what will you do?

6:59 PM  
Blogger Myrna R. said...

Thank you so much Gillena for sharing the process. I have a book of haiky masters on my nightstand. Am trying to learn. I have such respect and admiration for those, like you, who write such beautiful, meaningful haiku. Someday, I'll learn.

9:23 PM  
OpenID thotpurge said...

Always fascinating to see the creative process at work!! Thanks for sharing.

9:26 PM  
Blogger kaykuala said...

Thanks for relating the process. It helps for later Gillena!

Hank

9:26 PM  
Blogger Sumana Roy said...

thanks for sharing the process Gillena...the moon becomes quite a character in the last one..

11:41 PM  
Blogger Bekkie Sanchez said...

The moon will always compete in my mind. One of my favorite things!

12:44 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Each one serves as a motivation for my next haiku

Happy you dtopped in Robin

Much love...

12:55 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Myrna

Much love...

12:56 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for dropping in Thorpurge

Much love...

12:57 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Glad you dropped by Hank

Much love...

12:58 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thank you for your appreciation Sumana

Much love...

12:59 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Happy you dropped by Bekkie

Much love...

12:59 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Happy you dropped by Bekkie

Much love...

1:00 PM  
Blogger Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

I too much enjoyed reading about your process--I often think we don't pay enough attention to process

3:09 PM  
OpenID three-for-the-show said...

We all come to our process individually, and sharing it is important, as well as educational. We never know when our steps might help someone else fly. I really like your lurking moon,

Elizabeth

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Podologue marrakech said...

Thank you for your help, I am new in the world of your blog.

5:55 AM  

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