Sunday, May 29, 2016

1897



Last Sunday of May 2016. I'm sharing my haiku process for today, i welcome your critique

sunrise established
a sliver of moon still wanting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon still wanting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon still waiting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon waiting
to compete

sunrise secure
a sliver of moon lurking
In competition


And here's today's haiku; what do you think

a sunrise secure -
this sliver of moon lurking
in competition

© gillena cox 2016

Revisit
Sunday Lime 1
Sunday Savvy #86
day moon 2013


Sunday Smiles


Sundays are always special here at Lunch Break. Today is #86 in the series Sunday Lime How is your Sunday going email me post a COMMENT or leave a link to your blog at the linky below




Blog hopping today at
Poetry Pantry 304

40 comments:

Mary said...

Enjoyed reading your process notes as well as your finished product.
You have really captured that moon well, Gillena!

Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Mary

much love...

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Loved the fact that you shared your process notes with us :D it really helps to observe how one reaches their final product. Loved your haiku! Pure perfection. Happy Sunday Gillena :D

Lots of love,
Sanaa

scotthastiepoet said...

I too like the sharing of the process and you certainly get there Gillena

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Fascinating ti see your process. Thank you. I like where you ended up.

Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Sanaa

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for dropping in Scott

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Happy you dropped in Rosemary

Much love...

Jae Rose said...

I love the process you have shown along with this piece like the different stages of the sky..sunlight nudging moon..moon nudging sun :)

Donna@LivingFromHappiness said...

I love your thought process and the evolution...culminating in a wonderful haiku with a word changed, added or left out...each little change nudges it to perfection!

brudberg said...

Wonderful way to evolve to the final version... the thought of a moon lurking is great.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I enjoyed the process, and think your final one is perfect!

Kerry O'Connor said...

I think the final version is the best choice.. amazing how many combinations of words you worked with.

Gillena Cox said...

Thank you for your appreciation Jae

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Donna

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Bjorn

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Thanks Sherry

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Sherry

Much love...

Maneno Yangu said...

enjoyed the process the final result is outstanding, Wonderful Sunday to you!

Magaly Guerrero said...

I like your final choice, the idea of the moon lurking in order to best the sun. But I really love the second draft, there is something about the word "wanting"... Maybe is the fact that in my mind, I know the moon can't really beat the sun. Still, that want will keep her going.

Enjoyed seeing your process, Gillena.

Gillena Cox said...

Thank you Maneno

much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Thank you for your appreciation Magaly

much love...

totomai said...

I prefer the last one, Gillena. Thanks for sharing the process. I think I needed that. Will try to do it sometimes :)

Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Totomai

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Totomai

Much love...

Old Egg said...

I preferred the second one. Now with so many differing opinions what will you do?

Myrna R. said...

Thank you so much Gillena for sharing the process. I have a book of haiky masters on my nightstand. Am trying to learn. I have such respect and admiration for those, like you, who write such beautiful, meaningful haiku. Someday, I'll learn.

Anonymous said...

Always fascinating to see the creative process at work!! Thanks for sharing.

kaykuala said...

Thanks for relating the process. It helps for later Gillena!

Hank

Sumana Roy said...

thanks for sharing the process Gillena...the moon becomes quite a character in the last one..

Bekkie Sanchez said...

The moon will always compete in my mind. One of my favorite things!

Gillena Cox said...

Each one serves as a motivation for my next haiku

Happy you dtopped in Robin

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for your appreciation Myrna

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Thanks for dropping in Thorpurge

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Glad you dropped by Hank

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Thank you for your appreciation Sumana

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Happy you dropped by Bekkie

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Happy you dropped by Bekkie

Much love...

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

I too much enjoyed reading about your process--I often think we don't pay enough attention to process

Anonymous said...

We all come to our process individually, and sharing it is important, as well as educational. We never know when our steps might help someone else fly. I really like your lurking moon,

Elizabeth