The brightness of the fruit against the situation of the man is powerful, an effect enhanced by the image. "barely empty" is not quite lear to me – almost empty?
Bill i deliberated over that "barely empty" a bit, in terms of the issue of haiku credibility of the neoclassical type i could not just say empty if the persona is in the scene; and from prior knowledge of the scene if he is the only one i saw at the time, usually there are others about, so i opted for "barely empty"
still feel i could rework it, but i'll leave it like that for the while
4 comments:
The colours of your illustration compliment your poem perfectly, Gillena...
thank you frank; happy you stopped by
much love...
The brightness of the fruit against the situation of the man is powerful, an effect enhanced by the image. "barely empty" is not quite lear to me – almost empty?
Bill i deliberated over that "barely empty" a bit, in terms of the issue of haiku credibility of the neoclassical type i could not just say empty if the persona is in the scene; and from prior knowledge of the scene if he is the only one i saw at the time, usually there are others about, so i opted for "barely empty"
still feel i could rework it, but i'll leave it like that for the while
you critique; always welcome
much love...
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