Monday, November 12, 2012

1054

Defining Haiku here at Lunch Break that's 30 days, November 1st - 30th of haiku features

The haiku in today's haiga(illustrated haiku)

Divali eve -
bent bamboo patterns
bare

--gillena cox

Today's note - clutter


a haiku very often is morphed out a series of jottings, scribbles and write overs. In this process one of the uppermost issues for the writer is abstracting,
cutting out the unnecessary to get to the bare one breath reading experience

for example.....

eve of Divali -
only the bent bamboo shapes
no lights

eve of Divali -
only the bent bamboo
no deyas

eve of Divali -
the bent bamboo structues
as yet bare

eve of Divali -
the bent bamboo structues
yet bare

eve of Divali -
the bent bamboo structues
still bare

eve of Divali -
the bent bamboo structues
as yet bare

eve of Divali -
the bent bamboo sculptures
yet bare

and finally.......

Divali eve -
bent bamboo patterns
bare



I invite you to share some of your expertise on clutter with me


Today's tag

SmileyCentral.com

Labels: , , , , ,

6 Comments:

Blogger Adelaide said...

I like how you've shown us your thoughts on the revision process.
Sometimes it takes several attempts to get the poem just right.

Adelaide

8:06 PM  
Blogger Magyar said...

Ahhhhh... that value of our "scribble" books!
__Often, in checking my "scribble" books, an old haiku/senryu presents a changed "mind's-sight," and the new view excites another feeling. Is that, then, a re-write... or a new haiku/ senryu?:<)__Fine thought, Gillena! _m

9:03 PM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Adelaide interesting how this micro poem can present such a belaboring exercise sometimes

much love...

8:06 AM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Doug

There is so much still to explore in the haiku writing arena; the growth of a haijin i would say is an extremely slow process

much love...

8:08 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

No matter how you say it it's always full of heart/art :)

8:21 AM  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Thank you Lorraine :)) glad you stopped by


much love...

9:04 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home