The haiku in today's haiga(illustrated haiku)
Divali eve -
bent bamboo patterns
bare
--gillena cox
Today's note - clutter
a haiku very often is morphed out a series of jottings, scribbles and write overs. In this process one of the uppermost issues for the writer is abstracting,
cutting out the unnecessary to get to the bare one breath reading experience
for example.....
eve of Divali -
only the bent bamboo shapes
no lights
eve of Divali -
only the bent bamboo
no deyas
eve of Divali -
the bent bamboo structues
as yet bare
eve of Divali -
the bent bamboo structues
yet bare
eve of Divali -
the bent bamboo structues
still bare
eve of Divali -
the bent bamboo structues
as yet bare
eve of Divali -
the bent bamboo sculptures
yet bare
and finally.......
Divali eve -
bent bamboo patterns
bare
I invite you to share some of your expertise on clutter with me
Today's tag
6 comments:
I like how you've shown us your thoughts on the revision process.
Sometimes it takes several attempts to get the poem just right.
Adelaide
Ahhhhh... that value of our "scribble" books!
__Often, in checking my "scribble" books, an old haiku/senryu presents a changed "mind's-sight," and the new view excites another feeling. Is that, then, a re-write... or a new haiku/ senryu?:<)__Fine thought, Gillena! _m
Adelaide interesting how this micro poem can present such a belaboring exercise sometimes
much love...
Doug
There is so much still to explore in the haiku writing arena; the growth of a haijin i would say is an extremely slow process
much love...
No matter how you say it it's always full of heart/art :)
Thank you Lorraine :)) glad you stopped by
much love...
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